It is Fashion Week in New York.  Do you know what that means?  Anyone who cares about the 90210 Party knows what it means…hundreds of girls with a severe case of no-ass-at-all are gallivanting around New York, kind of like this chick.  No thanks!

For the 90210 Party Gang it means ditching our outdated Summer digs for our cutting-edge, sleeker and more modern get up at our new site, Funny Shizz. This is where you can see all the memories (pictures) created at the 90210 Party and continue to live on with us as we continue to try to make you laugh.  Just go to http://www.funnyshizz.com for all the goods, details and regularly updated hilarious posts from the 90210 Party Gang.  See you there!

Hi again everyone!  We at the 90210 Party have finally fully recovered from what was a truly amazing party experience.  It will go down in 90210 Party lore for years to come.  They will have a lot to live up to next century.  For those of you that were too drunk or otherwise impaired, we had a photographer document the event for us.  He came away with some great shots.  For now, we can only post a few because…it’s not big enough.  That’s what she said. No, seriously, that is what she said.  The woman that runs the website told us our server was not big enough.  So, for now, these will have to do for helping you piece together your evening.

Who invited the weird chicks with the glowing hoops?  Oh, wait, we did!  Thanks to the ladies from Electric Ladyland for starting the party out right!

 

These girls came out dressed in their best 90s gear!

So did this group of the girls.  We totally dig the overalls.

Killer 90s look, ladies.

All flannel, all the time.

These dudes did not know it was a 90210 party, they just lack any fashion sense.

Can you spot yourself?

NSR getting the dance floor hopping with the dope 90s tunes.

These two jerkoffs got the entire dance floor to stand still with their heartfelt thank you.

Since that didn’t come out right that night, let us just say, thank you.  Keep checking back again for more party posts with photos recapping the 90210 Party!

    

Usually after a long night of unadulterated activities such as those that occurred last night we wake up with cotton mouth and an incredible need for an extra soapy shower, but this morning after climbing over the linebacker of a girl next to us, we were excited to get up and attack the day.  Why you ask? Because it’s Friday and that means it is basically the weekend you dumb dumb. But also, we are being sent the pictures from the photographer later tonight and we are dying to take a peak.  We will be posting the pictures as we get them so stay tuned for some memories.

We also want to thank everybody for coming out.  It was a great turn out, we had a great time (although unfortunately to my knowledge none of the 90210 gang got blown) and hopefully you did too.  Special thanks to the DJ’s, you all killed it.

Remember, just because the 90210 party is over it doesn’t mean that the fun is over.  We are going to continue blogging for the next week or so here and then we are moving to a new destination so stay tuned for all the details on the shizz.

For the long weekend we will leave you with a fun behind the 90210 behind the scenes 90210 Party creation in action

After hanging with the 90210 Party gang for the last 3 months, it should be obvious to you that we are made up of a bunch of good-looking, intelligent, well-hung, funny, athletic and all around friendly guys that can last hours upon hours in bed and have never cum too quick, ever, despite what that girl says to this day.

You know that we are a crew of men that have no problem controlling our ejaculations, and in most instances can screw for hours without even cumming once.  I mean we do cum, because the sex we have is legendary, but we never cum too early.  Let’s just agree that we last a really long time when we are having sex.  Not too long of course, it’s not like we have girls screaming, “stop” or “please get the fuck off me” or “you only paid for thirty minutes.”  Those are statements we have never heard during sex, not ever.  We mean it, never. 

(This picture shows what has never happened to us, not once, we promise. It doesn’t matter what your roommate says, she’s totally joking and she must have us confused with someone else that looks exactly the same. A scene like this is so beyond us, we cannot even imagine what this would be like.  Does she look satisfied?  No!  So he must not be a 90210 Party Gang member.)

You know how we know for a fact that this has never happened, because we always leave you satisfied and there is always more where it came from. That is why even after the party is over; you should keep checking the blog.  We will have party recap posts making sure everyone knows everything that happened, professional party photos and more news regarding the 90210 Party Gang.

For the last post before the party, we thought that we would give you something VERY special.  It is a little inspiration to all for the 90210 party TONIGHT because we know better  than anybody at any moment “Amazing Can Happen”

So we’ll see you at the 9.02.10 Party tonight at M1-5 (52 Walker Street) at 10:00pm.  The party will get started early and go all night long, so don’t be late dumb dumb!!!  

Contrary to popular belief, there actually are some dudettes in the 90210 Party gang, this is not some sort of he-man woman haters club. 

                      

C’mon, who else would we sexually harass, proposition for handjobs on rainy Sunday afternoons, or ask questions about outfits, perfect first date spots and the location of the elusive clitoris? (it’s right under the clitoral hood, ya dangus)  As always we will let the female speak, but only when spoken to.  Being that this is one of our final posts we’ve said a lot so it is time that I give you, straight from the mouth of Kate (where most of us have been before), the female perspective on this most legendary of bashes, which takes place tomorrow, September 2, 2010 at M1-5 (52 Walker Street, NYC) at 10:00pm.  For the full effect, read this with your higher, more feminine internal voice:

Between the titties and the tatas, the breastisties and the boobies- here at the 90210 Party site we’ve heard very little from the ladies behind the hoots…

Until now.

So sure guys watched Bev. And sure they could relate.

What adolescent male did not want to have an adjoining bathroom with his twin sister like Brandon Walsh? Who among them did not have wet dreams about their blind piano teacher ala David Silver? Show me the kid that would not have liked to relocate for seasons 7-8 after he took down an entire zip code like Dylan McKay. And while Steve was the weak link, it should be noted that even Nat pulled in some puss with his patented Peach Pit pickup lines.

But as girls growing up in the 90’s, the late Aaron Spelling did more than just tickle our pubic bone, he created a cast of female characters worthy of even the most impressionable minds admiration.  He made the world a better place for us girls, and thus makes us better young women.

 Let’s take a look at the facts, shall we?

Donna Martin Graduated.   She finally did it.

Girl battled dyslexia, a case of the drunksies at Senior Prom and a missing breastbone to show the BH administration that though she was not as hot nor as smart as her classmates, she too deserved to go to fake college. Donna pioneered the way for the young Lindsey Lohan’s and Paris Hilton’s of the world by proving that if you’re a little bit dumb and a lotta bit rich, you can do whatever your wallet puts it’s mint too. Lesson learned.

                            

Thank you Donna.

 

Andrea Zuckerman Impregnated. In just 9 months at college, Andrea turned around that nerdy Ivy League image she rep’d so hard while at West Beverley High and went from dork to stork in a classic teen mom ‘She’s All That’ storyline.

What’s Zuckerman’s Path to Success you ask? It’s easy! Just follow these simple steps:

1. Have a name like Andrea (pronounced Ahn-drea, certainly not Ann-drea)

2. Find cater waiter to have unprotected sex with

3. Rinse & repeat. 

And boom! Just like that- you’ve bred a Mexican/Jewish hybrid.

Kelly Taylor Overcame. Not since Jessie Spano conquered being overly excited and too scared has a female lead prevailed against obstacles like our Spring Princess Kelly Taylor. 

;

In a 10 year span Kelly: lost her virginity in a bush, burnt in a fire, had her very own stalker, got raped, got amnesia, killed her rapist, had an alcoholic mother, called off 3 proposals, miscarried, got brainwashed by cult,  and had a temporary coke addiction. Her greatest feat of all- emerging the victor in a feud with former best friend Brenda Walsh in the original Team Edward/Jacob rivalry of Generation Next. Bravo Team Kelly! We commend your courage

 

So there you have it.

I’m here today to spread the feminist word and to ensure you that despite the fact that this entire party was concocted by a few 11 -year boy brains in the hopes of getting blown (editor’s note, they will) — the 90210 Party Gang has done growed up.  Yes they still enjoy head, but somewhere along the way they’ve become my Brandon, Dylan, David, Steve, Nat, Ray Pruett, Jim Walsh and Jesse Vasquez the Cater Waiter.  And as if their adult ways weren’t good times enough- they even support women’s rights! 

I’ve made my pledge! Now in the spirit of solidarity and in tribute to the sistahs that helped pave the way for us, come on out to the 90210 party and let’s ban the bra together!

It appears that someone actually watched the show…weirdo.  Whether you watched the show or not, we will see you at the 9.02.10 Party!  Tomorrow night (9/02/10) at M1-5, at 10:00pm, don’t be late!!!

Sometimes excitement can get the best of somebody and sometimes excitement can be the bomb.  This time excitement is the A-bomb, so let’s get excited.  The 90210 Party is only 2 or so days away, so we just wanted to make sure everybody knows the deal.

Doors open at 10pm and don’t close until the sun comes up (or 4am which ever comes first).  There is going to be a pretty good turn out so if you get caught at the door, just say our secret word(s): 90210 party, Kelly, Donna, Brenda, Dylan, Brandon, Mr. Walsh, Mrs. Walsh, Beverly Hills, 90210, ninety, twenty one, zero or just hum the theme song and Nat, the bouncer, should let you right in.

Clothing although completely optional in its entirety - is encourage to be 90’s-esque but people should wear whatever they are comfortable in.  With that said, we’ve seen enough of Brendan to know this is an opportunity of lifetime, so take advantage.  DJ’s are gonna be crazy good and it’s gonna be an all around amazing time.

Also in exciting news, the party has actually been picked up in a very influential publication as the front page story.  The paper as seen below…

               

…actually happens to double as our party flyer, quite the coincidence, we know and were flabbergasted ourselves.  A downloadable version of the flyer is available right friggin’ here, by clicking these very words so pass that shit around to your friends like herpes.

Now that you know the deets, we expect you all to be there ready to have some fun.  So see you on Thursday night at M1-5 Lounge at 10.

90210 Party Gang Member NIZ recently took time from personally shutting down St. Vincent’s Hospital ward by ward to send out a message about the 90210 Party, because he did a little homework and found out that this is a special day, for yet another reason.  Here is the message we received by Telex earlier this morning:

This party isn’t just about celebrating the 90’s, it’s also about celebrating those 80’s babies bred to feed off the teet of the Tiffany Amber Thiessin’s and Jenny Garth’s of the world. Specifically its about celebrating one such day in the 80’s, Sept 2 1983 in fact, when Steven Lee Pristin was born.  Here is a picture shortly after they cut the chord on the little guy.  He’s keepin’ it ill (and I don’t mean cholera) straight from the womb.  Would you look at all that hair!!!

A momentous day for New York, Steve, soon to be known by the moniker “Everybody’s Favorite”, would go on to influence everyone from Funk Master Flex to lonely housewives to HBO’s current President, Mr. Bill “the Goat” Nelson.

After years of birthing cool across the five boroughs, he has recently set up shop in Prospect Heights, sleeping late and planning cultural domination of your mind through the great internets, sniffing out the new new faster than Kelly can take off her prom dress. Let’s be clear, he’s not just about gay hockey documentaries or smelling like money.  A consummate style-maker and heart breaker, (kinda like Dylan wouldn’t you say?) now a days you can find him getting Crunk from Brooklyn to Manhattan and back again.

And so, this Thursday, September 2, 2010 on the eve this most fabulous 90210 party, we want to get crunk with Everybody’s Favorite, he wants to get crunk with Everybody!!! And Everybody should  wish him a happy 90210 themed birthday at M1-5 at 10:00pm. 

We’d like to close this with a special word from the birthday boy, Everybody’s Favorite, so that he can explain yet another connection he has to 90210:

As a child I hated my name. 

I’m not sure if my distaste for my name began before or after the rise in popularity of the show 90210. But what I do know is the character Steve Sanders exacerbated my distaste for the name “Steve”. This guy had the goofiest hair and dated the ugliest girl.  I dreamt of a life where I was named Brandon or Dylan.  The name “Steve” was clearly the reason I had any social issues.

One would think that the other TV sitcom Steve - “Steven Urkell” – would be the one to embarrass my namesake.  But oddly enough, Urkell didn’t bother me as much.  Maybe it was the prominence of his last name. Maybe it was his cool alter ego “Stefan” – I can’t tell you for sure.. 

That being said, if you spend time with me and I’m around friends I knew when I was in elementary school – you’ll notice they all call me Steven.  It took many years of counseling to finally embrace the name “Steve”.  But I still hate that damn Steve Sanders!

Steven hates Steve, and for good reason.  We’ve got to help him get over his disdain for Steve Sanders as a collective whole by helping him celebrate his birthday in true 90210 fashion.  On Thursday, we’ll see you there!!!

Listen up, because moments like these are big.  We don’t get to hear from  Godfather Nogz very often.  We used to lovingly call him Führer (check out that umlaut) until he pointed out that is what the German people called Hitler and despite having control of most of Europe, including Ibiza, Adolf didn’t really like to party that much. 

The Godfather recently reached out to us with a message recalling the very evening that the modern day 9.02.10 Party was born.  He is responsible for the current 9.02.10 Party Gang, a group of ruffians who call New York City home and comb the streets in search of some decent trim and an even better party.  As the unofficial leader of the gang, Nogz spends most of his time doing shit that we can only dream of.  We have seen photos of monkeys actually flying out of his butt and it is rumored that he recently reinvented the wheel.    Here he is in all his glory:

This introduction has gone on long enough, so without further adieu, a message from the Godfather of the 9.02.10 Party and the origins of this year’s 9.02.10 Party.

The bare light bulb in the living room at 145 Gibbs St. had always flickered.  No one ever questioned why, or did anything about it.  Its sputtering glow a fact of the house.

The three 11 year olds underneath the light hardly noticed it anymore.  They sat idly on the faded green couch. Once a prized possession of the household, the sofa was now depressed by their marathon TV sessions and stained by their apathetic hygiene.  A piece of bologna remained on the glass of the cabinet above them, two days after they first affixed it as a joke.  It hung there, like a trophy head of indolence.   

Once the Montell Jordan video had ended, a desultory search through the channels proved fruitless. They were on edge.

“This sucks nuts,” said the fat boy.

The pale boy and the skinny boy nodded in agreement.

“Donkey nuts,” Giggled the pale boy, unable to restrain his laughter at his own joke.

The clock read 5:58.   Two minutes, they would have the same argument they had every night. California Dreams vs. Beverly Hills 90210.  Disney Channel vs. The WB. Tiffani Smith vs. Kelly Taylor. A show for girls based in Southern California vs. A show for girls based in Southern California.

“Let’s watch California Dreams,” said the fat boy.

“I agree!” said the pale boy.

“That show sucks. C’mon, that music is so fake! Let’s do 90210. And I want to see if Brenda gets back with Dylan.” The skinny boy’s face reddened with embarrassment at his comment, his emasculating remark would be punished.

“You are gay! Plus, these are reruns!” shouted the pale boy.

“Don’t be a fag-stick,” Added the fat boy.

“They’re new to me…” The skinny boy muttered under his breath, his eyes widening as moment of inspiration entered his mind. “Fine, we can watch California Dreams. But, we have to throw a party on 9/02/10.”

The pale boy and fat boy looked at him quizzically.

“Like September 2^nd, 2010. You know, 9- 02-10.”

“That does sound cool.  There should be a lot of chicks there, ‘cause girls love that show,” Said the fat boy.

The pale boy smiled. “Maybe we can get blown.”

***

Over the next 15 years, the boys meticulously planned the bash. And that light bulb finally did get fixed.  Brenda never got back together with Dylan. The bologna eventually fell down and was eaten by Shuma, the family dog (RIP). California Dreams was canceled with little fanfare in 1997.  Will the boys get blown? You’ll have to come to the 9.02.10 party on Thursday September 2, 2010 (9/02/10) at 10:00 to find out.  Or blow them.  If you’re chicks. Otherwise that would be gay.

ALL HAIL NOGZ!!!!!

What do Regis Philbin, Rudy Rudy Ruettiger, a little green midget and Ca$h Machine all have in common?  Of course, they all went to the University of Notre Dame. While Regis and Rudy may have been following the “two feet on the floor at all time”  while a girl is in your dorm room rule, Ca$h Machine and the leprechaun certainly were not.  Don’t get the wrong impression, we don’t mean to imply he was tearing up mad vagizazazizaz of unsuspecting catholic girls, he was dating the beautiful woman that would eventually become his wife; although we clearly are okay with taking advantage of half of the freshman class, heck, hell, darn-it, we all sure did it.  The point is, unlike the midg, he didn’t have 2 feet on the floor because he was simply dancing his fucking ass off the whole time. In fact, it is rumored that in a “fun” binge, Ca$h Machine remained one footed for an unprecedented 72 hours.  Now that is impressive for a 4 limbed man.  Here he is, partying underwater!!!!

When we at the 9.02.10 Party heard this feat and about this man’s love of Party and Dance in general, and we knew we had to have him spinning at our party.  When Ca$h Machine is up there spinning, things are going being crazy, like when Brendan and David took the dance contest in the episode “Radio Daze” from season four:

CHECK OUT THOSE MOVES!!!

Ca$h Machine will be opening the party so come on down to M1-5 on September 2, 2010 to the 92010 party at 10:00, because he will be kicking stuff off right!  See you there!!! 

Do you guys remember the episode where Tiffany Amber-Theisan’s character got really drunk and tried to steal Dylan from Kelly.  Well, not really try to steal, cause she did.  She took Dylan to the Walsh’s third floor attic, threw him on the bed and right before they went to commercial, you see her tits, full frontal?

No - you don’t remember? Well, that’s cause it didn’t happen.  We never got to see her ever so succulent breastisese.  Believe me we tried…over this past weekend we re-watched every 90210 episode and did not even see a side boob.  For good measure we even watched all the Saved by the Bells and besides learning the Screetch Hop for which he and Lisa earned first prize in the Max talent show, we got diddily squat.  

So is this adventure to the Rockies a lost cause? Will the world ever get to see the girl next doors hoots?  Fortunately for everyone this mission does bear sweet nectar, on this 90210 party exclusive look at the pictures that have only been reported first by People, Maxim, US Weekly, Fox News, ABC Family and that woman who sits at the desk next to you, we will reveal the prized possession of the late 20th century.

With out further ado. We give you Women Breasts (behind a little cloth).

 

Now that is some serious side boob!  We can safely say that at the 90210 party in little less than two weeks on September 2^nd at the M1-5 Lounge in SoHo there will be bare boobs, once again, thank you Kate!